Self-care is not selfish is a popular statement these days.
Women are starting to realize that time for themselves allows them to be better
wives, mothers, sisters, friends and coworkers. Women often fall into the trap
of not embracing self-care because the idea of putting themselves first is a
difficult concept to grasp. But why is that? It’s because, historically, women
have always taken care of others before themselves. Women have been taught this
behavior and it has been reinforced by society for many years. Unless women
break the cycle, they are going to pass down those behaviors and beliefs to their
daughters and also their sons who will then have those same expectations in
their marriage.
What is Self-Care?
It’s self-love and it’s self-respect. It’s a commitment you
make to yourself to take care of your mind, body and spirit. Self-care is as
necessary as the air you breathe, so it’s essential that you reject the belief that
taking time for yourself, equates practicing self-indulgence.
Self-care is real, and it matters.
Self-care is how you replenish all that you’ve given away
and sacrificed. It’s the mindset, activities, practices and habits you embrace
to guard yourself against stress, illness, depression, anxiety, and many more
negative conditions. In the medical field it’s called practicing prevention. To
care for yourself, you first have to know what you need and then go get it.
Practicing self-care can not only change your life but it can save
your life. So, what happens when you practice self-care? What would that
look like?
As with the scenario of a plane that has lost pressure, the
right thing to do is to always help you first. Then, when you have your mask in
place, you can assist others. The reason for this is simple. Until you are taken
care of, you are likely to cause more problems and become part of the overall
problem rather than being part of the solution. This is what self-care looks like. It’s about taking care of the
things that matter to help heal you so that you can become part of the
solution.
So how do we get in the mindset of putting ourselves first
and practicing self-care?
These are the tools women must have:
1.
Boundaries: Understand what it means to create boundaries.
We have all heard that we must learn to say no. And I truly believe that it’s
crucial to be comfortable with saying no and knowing when to say it. But the
truth is that most people get uneasy just thinking about
having to tell someone no. So, the key is to not concentrate on the negative
connotation that the word no may bring. Don’t dwell on the feeling that you are
going to hurt someone’s feelings if you say no. You can approach saying no with
the intention of honoring the request of the person by letting them know that
you understand their needs and would be happy to help if another opportunity
arises, but now is not a good time. No explanation needed.
2.
Gratitude:
Put self-care before your daily grind and wake up in the morning with
gratitude. Practicing gratitude will get you in the mindset of what it means to
take care of yourself. The fact that you wake up each morning and can live to
see another day and be given another chance to make it better or make it right
is the ultimate form of self-care. To continue the gratitude practice, you have
to pour into yourself what your body needs in order to continue waking up each
morning.
3.
Self-love:
This goes back to #1 because you must love yourself enough to set boundaries.
You must cherish your time and energy. When you love yourself, you will do
whatever it takes to protect your mental as well as your physical health. You
know how important you are and what you’re worth.
4.
A voice:
A woman who puts herself first, is someone who has found her voice. She is able
to know and verbalize her wants and needs. She does not let mommy guilt, wife
guilt, or daughter guilt rule her decisions and she is unapologetic about
taking time for herself.
5.
A
schedule: Learning to schedule your time and prioritizing is the ultimate
form of self-care. It allows you to be able to make time in your schedule for
you and the things you love to do. Being able to let go of things that don’t
serve you will allow you to make time for the things that really matter.
Self-care comes in many forms-physical, mental, spiritual
and social. Developing a self-care plan that covers all these areas, that is
easy to maintain and that gives you the results you need is important to your
physical and mental wellbeing.
Before you lose your way and continue to live in survival
mode—before you get into the habit of not checking in with yourself—let’s make
a commitment to plant the seed of a wholesome self-care routine.
Ready to start planting the seed? Register for my Signature Course, The Ultimate Roadmap To Finding Time For Yourself. The kick off for the course is July 23rd. The first 10 registrants will receive as bonus, in addition to the online course, weekly live group coaching sessions with me. Find out more here
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